Trump Approves Congressional Plan To Get Emotional Girls To All Wear Mood Rings

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced his approval for a bold new congressional plan to get emotional girls to all wear mood rings.

According to sources in the White House, Trump enthusiastically approved the legislation that would require all emotional girls to wear mood rings so that those around them could better gauge their current emotional states.

“I’ve contrived some sort of plan, and it’s a brilliant plan, I must say,” Trump told reporters. “I said, ‘Let’s get emotional girls to all wear mood rings.’ That way, when these girls are ticked off, we’ll be tipped off to it. A very valuable thing to know, believe me. Because, let’s be honest, even when girls are very, very pretty, they don’t always act that way, do they? It’s sad. One minute she’s Jekyll, and the next minute she’s Hyde. So crazy. That’s why we’ll give them mood rings. It’ll help a lot, believe me.”

Administration insiders reported that the proposal was met with opposition behind closed doors, particularly by emotional female staffers. The president remained committed to putting the plan into action.

“It’ll be so much better,” he explained. “Just look at the mood ring. When it’s black, then you better watch your backs, me boys. When it’s blue, go ahead and ask her out, because she’ll probably say yes. If it’s green, she’s really, really stressed out. And if it’s clear, then she’s just actually just emotionless. But, to be honest, we’re alright with that, aren’t we folks?”

Sources said that the new plan has proven invaluable to male coworkers, new boyfriends, and husbands of all ages.

At publishing time, Trump had appointed a special task force to understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind.