Trump Completes Renovations To White House Throne Room

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Trump administration officials announced on Monday that renovations on the White House Throne Room have been completed.

According to sources, the new throne room had undergone extensive remodeling to reflect President Donald Trump’s increased monarchic power and bring greater honor and prestige to his historic reign over the nation.

“It is now truly fitting for a king,” Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt reported. “The White House Throne Room has been retrofitted with golden accents, a diamond encrusted gold throne, and a mural depicting President Trump on a horse rampaging through a peaceful protest.”

Though most Americans were unaware, the throne room was first constructed following the War of 1812 but fell into disrepair when presidents began spending a significant time abroad. In light of this weekend’s “No Kings” protests, the president ordered it be modernized for immediate use.

“These people seem to think it’s bad to have a king — a concept completely at odds with America,” Barron Trump reportedly told his father. “We must show them what a proper king looks like. We must show them, father.”

Following Leavitt’s press briefing, Trump held court in the throne room to hear the pleas of journalists, which he repeatedly denied.

“Wrong! You’re fake news!” Trump shouted at one point. “I will not return your farmland!”

At publishing time, President Trump demanded that the American Crown Jewels be cleaned forthwith.