Trump Unveils White House Water Slide

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced this week that as part of the White House renovation, he will be installing a giant water slide on the roof that will go all the way down to the Rose Garden.

“Our country has been without a national water slide for far too long,” President Trump told reporters. “When foreign dignitaries visit, we have nowhere to let them slide down into a cool splash pool. I’ll be funding this project completely from private donations, and it will be a great asset to the American people for many years to come.”

Designs for the massive new feature show a blue fiberglass slide starting on the roof of the White House and ending in the Rose Garden, where a large swimming pool will be built to accommodate the slide. The new pool will also feature diving boards, a swim-up bar, and a basketball goal for friendly games of one-on-one.

Democrats have denounced the move, stating that water slides are fun and make kids laugh, which is really annoying.

At publishing time, President Trump had announced that he would also be bulldozing the entire National Mall and replacing it with a new golf course, and would keep the Reflecting Pool as a water hazard.